It’s cancer

It was the end of May 2010, and just 4 days after my 32nd birthday. Neil and I were getting ready to go to sleep for the night when I thought I should do my self breast exam. It had been only about 2 months since my last doctor visit so I was sure that there would be nothing to find but thought I should do it anyway. Suddenly, I felt a lump in one of my breasts. Only slightly concerned, I went to the doc the next day to get it checked out. I knew statistically it was likely nothing. Even the doctor said, “Don’t worry too much. It’s extremely rare that it would be cancer at your young age.” I had an ultrasound and biopsy and on June 10 I got THE phone call.

“It’s cancer.  It’s called Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.”

Long Pause

“Hello?”

Now to those of you that know me well, you know that it’s extremely typical for me to take a long silent pause after I’ve been asked a question (it’s the blonde in me, ok?!).  But this long pause was different than the usual “how do I want to respond” pause.  This pause was more like a “there’s no way she just said what I thought she said” pause.  I felt like I was instantly frozen in time by my fear and disbelief.  I was watching my life flash before my eyes.  I was realizing that this was the moment that was going to change my life forever.  It has.

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